Looking for a Job...

No I have not posted in awhile... I was displaced at work on April 4th and it has taken the wind out of me.  I thought I was settled into a great place to retire where stress was low most of the time but you all know there's that one jerk who has to ruin everything. So I am now at age 52 looking for a job and it is not pleasant.  I have a lot of experience in the automotive industry but no desire to return to it. The fast pace, hours, travel and people are just not my thing anymore.

I did go ahead and renew my Brokers license for Real Estate.  The market is good, but having any income is at least 6 months away doing that and I need a 3 month turn.  I am looking for something where I am not tied to one place all the time.  I have even put in with Terminex... yeah a bug man I can be.... but going under houses doesn't bother me and meeting different people would be fun.  I may not be pushy enough to sell things but who knows.  I have to do something...

This all brings me back to relationships.  I knew from about the 4th month that I might be a threat to some people where I worked.  I had a lot of upper management experience and was a middle manager.  I was taking direction from someone I did not respect or trust and it eventually became a loss for me.  My wife had told me for over a year to get out of there... and she was right... again.  There is a fine line between knowledge and pride.  I knew better, but I knew I had a job that was low stress most of the time.  I do feel that God has a purpose for me in this and I will be VERY obedient to it.  I seek your prayers for His will in my life.

After all the years of managing others I can say I have never once talked down to anyone.  I was always taking the mentoring role or coaching role and using steps to improve them or tell them those same steps if not helpful would get them out the door.  I never had to curse anyone or be negative and say things like "you just are not capable" or "what the BLEEP do you think you are doing?"  I was always able to manage through things more positively.  If they have an attendance problem show them the policy... ask what I could do to help...make sure there isn't a deeper issue.  I always got good results and felt I had people's respect. 

When this guy talked to me like I was a dope dealer out on the floor one day over a shipment that had a wrong label on it and made me feel like I was 1" tall in front of all  my team I was done with him.  I later heard him do the same very early one morning to the HR manager in the office and I heard it through the wall.... so double done.  I guess he knew it and once he saw I did not respect him he set out to can me.  I did tell HR if he ever did that again I would file a complaint and want it addressed.  We had policies that said you cannot do that... but everyone there was scared of him.  I don't think one person there respected him... it was or is all fear.

He is one of those people that has MMIF on his forehead...Make Me Feel Important.  He drives a BMW. He does not have a degree but studies up on words to use around you to make you feel stupid. I truly believe he had an app for a new word and he used one everyday. He dressed up in a tie and we were seldom visited by customers... thus casual would do and was policy.  It was a power trip.  He stayed in his office or in the front office area except for maybe 20 minutes a day.  No one knew what he did all day and most said "nothing".  Yet he was a Senior VP... over everything.  All of the CSR's complained they knew nothing about anything going on and what I most remember is once he said "I don't need to have meetings with you it is your floor and you run it but if anyone comes to me over something I will get involved" and "I only manage from 10,000 feet.... you manage from the ground that is your job"... in other words "you do it and I'll be in here at my desk if someone wants to complain about you". 

He said in year one I was making great progress removing walls between cultures and the office staff.  That I was making great improvements.  In year two it was more of the same and two new projects. I had started on one and hit a block with IT.  They said they would keep him informed... apparently not. It was told to me off the record that his "straw that broke the camels back" was me not getting this done and delegating it off to other people.  Had he EVER met with me or been involved in the operations side past walking through once a day on his morning walk he could have seen my detailed plan and where I was "on hold" because IT was dragging their feet getting the software people in.  That's his 10,000 foot view.

I just had a review in January and it was good and I got a nice increase.  He had not sat with me or talked to me much at all since.  As above, 10,000 feet up and unaware of what REALLY was going on. So to be carried into a conference room on April 4 and told "you are not a part of our 5 year plan" and released was a shock.  Like the way we had done others there, even hourly people, I was never met with over anything to give a warning or "plan for improvement" like we always did.  I just got the shaft. Even the HR Manager was not in the loop until that morning.  This guy went to the President who knew me from nobody and spoke little English and told him God knows what to get him to agree to let him fire me.  This was a personal thing, not a business thing. My separation slip said "Due to production deficiencies Me Holden is no longer a long term fit for our company" so was it because I was deficient or because I was 52 and said a few times I didn't want to work past 55-60 bit I would HAVE TO!?

I can't disclose the terms of my release.... that would be grounds for a lawsuit.  I cannot give away their "trade secrets" but that's not a problem... most companies are LIGHT YEARS ahead of this one. He can now go in knowing he won as he snickers under his breath and feels his power within.  I on the other hand am worried how I will feed my family because I have not and will not draw a dollar from the feds.  I do however have a God that will carry me and shelter me and provide.  It may be the last hour but His help will come.  It may be to humble me but I will still proclaim Him as mine and go forward.

I cant judge or know but I feel that that man who did this does not have that for himself.  Most Christians have a heart of compassion and would always go about things the right way.  Whatever his reasons for letting me go (they were not business reasons... I had done a lot to help the company and done everything I was asked to do and more... building bridges across cultures and automating processes) it was not followed like a person of belief.  There was no discussion, no plan, no consideration for anyone else but him.  He had a mission and he followed it without fail.

I always called him Barney Fife.  Guess I got his one bullet right in the head!

Not finished out yet but time to say "The Barn"

It doesn't seem like this took as long as it did.  What started out in December as a "we will have this ready for NEXT winter" has turned into "GET R DONE" mode!  This huge 24 x 144 Horse Barn is about ready to use... heck I am using it to ride in.... but we do lack some things.  Stalls are not finished, walls for wash room, tack room still not framed but...

Electrical... DONE
Lighting ... DONE
Plumbing... DONE (and NEVER AGAIN)
Sliding Doors... DONE
Concrete... DONE
Trim outside ... DONE

I actually rode my stallion in the barn on April 3rd for the Inaugural Ride!  He did great and I was beaming ear to ear.  This has been 25 plus years in the making for me and I still can't believe we have a "true" horse barn... a place that I can work a horse when it rains, snows or is just too windy to be outside.  Granted, they need their outside time... but this is a HUGE help.  Here are some updated photos from the weekend...

 There's the view down the long 144' riding hallway.  I left the near end "open" and it works great for circles, figure 8's and bending the horses.  It takes the monotony out of the straight away riding.  It may end up stalled.... but don't need it at this time.

 This sign looked good ont he old barn but really looks nice on the new one! 

Not sure how, but Amy and I got these HUGE doors on the tracks and installed.  We felt like we just "had to" so we could get back to normal with our herd coming in to feed every day.  We have been out of sorts for months and it's good to be back on track.

Monday April 4th is way ahead of where we thought we'd be.  We sill start working three for showing today... Cruz, Ziva and Jo.  Cruz is a coming 3 yr old stallion and doing great.  Ziva is a coming 2 yr old filly and has had show experience under halter winning the NSSHA Yearling Filly World Championship last September.  She is being ground worled and getting used to a saddle and we will start her next week riding.  Jo is an aged gelding (14) that was never ridden until last fall.  He moves great and will be Amy's show prospect.  They will be working hard to get ready to show and I think he will surprise all of us.

It is exciting to be back showing and working horses again.  I look forward to the show season and using this awesome barn and to trail riding and new friendships we may find.  God has truly blessed us!!

It Looks like a BARN!

 THAR SHE BLOWS!!!   All 144' of red metal glory!  This thing is FINALLY closed in looks great!    Actually have a lot more done than these photos show as in the front gable is trimmed and doors are made, the door track is up and I just need 2 STOUT FELLAS to show up and help me hang them... then I can install stops and guides and we are READY to close doors and ride inside! 

From the kitchen, it looks like this out the window.  Our old barn we worked hard on 2 years ago is dwarfed by this monster!  We will still use it as much as we have just for other purposes...

I did get the water lines in and the frost free faucets plus another faucet in the pasture to allow us to water the horses easier without 200 feet of hose.  Also have the 100 amp line in and it is HOT to the box just waiting for someone to tie everything in when it is all wired (oh that's me again... yep). 

The lights I bought have plugs on them versus direct wire... I decided to go ahead and use them in the long hall (8 of them) and just have a plug at each one.  It's not much more trouble to do that than it is to wire the lights direct.  I'll install 3 "vapor proof" lights in the wash bay and just porcelain receptacles in the stalls up high with LED bulbs.  I have some of those in the old barn and they do great.  I didn't want those "barn lights" with the glass thing on them... hard to screw on and off and just not my favorite.

So on the to do list is the electrical plus stall walls and fronts and doors. I have one frame made to test and we have to get a load of boxing lumber at the sawmill as soon as we can... however the budget has been depleted and there are a few more expenses to eat.  Like the 50 or so bulbs for the lights at $2 each, stall door latches, livestock wire for the stall tops, the barn lumber, more gravel and something for the hallway floor. 

Outside we are in great shape.  The pad has been groomed and pretty sure we have the water going where it needs to go as it runs off the roof.  There may be a spot or two but we will know tomorrow as it has rained all morning and we expect more today.  It's time to "trim 'er out" inside and get this barn to use.  We are excited, but tired... and I figure I have some late nights coming so I can get this done in the next few weeks.

Show season kicks in the middle of May and I need to be riding and training my horses starting next week... so hoping I get a majority of it done THIS week!  Would I do it again?  Yes.  I would budget a little "heavier" and I would have more done by outside labor now that I know what I know but I also know that if I need a SMALLER building or a shed done I have learned more than I care to disclose and could do a bang-up job on something small... heck maybe even something big!

So we have a horse barn... a training barn and a place we can spend the rest of our active lives enjoying and THAT is what we did this for.  We want to have the next 20 years set up to enjoy and not dreading or working ourselves to death. To many it is "what are you thinking" but to us it's a dream come true. 

Final posts to come with all the work done... can't wait to share it!

Commmmcreeep....101

March ... March winds... NO DOUBT!  We have not been able to put siding on with these winds up to 20 MPH and gusting about every day.  Therefore we have been working on the other FUN tangibles we have left like ditches and comcreep (concrete) and electrical wiring.  Progress is being made slowly but the appearance isn't changing much with no sides or ends or doors! 

Here is where we are as of March 21st. 

The concrete was put in last Saturday.  It took 9 yards to cover it and had just enough left to fill in the posts that needed concrete... so no bags to mix!  The far end is the wash bay and tilts out the back wall... the balance is level and will be crossties in 24' of it and a feed and tack room in the end 12'.  So 12x48 concrete... something we have NOT had in the old barn.  Gravel and rubber mats... and a mess to keep drained.  We look forward to using this area hopefully in a few weeks!

We decided to start with framing up 4 stalls on one end and leaving the other end open for now (hay storage) as we know we won't be working over 3 horses for shows and by winter we can finish up the other stalls... plus my budget is dangling by a thread with just enough left to get some sawmill planks to get the long walls covered inside and do the stalls on one end. 

Overall we are moving along pretty well.  The wiring is about done, the ditch witch work is done and ready to set water faucets and we should have water and power by the end of March and hopefully be enclosed.  We hope to start using the barn no later than May but we shall see.... I don't have enough vacation days to use and get a lot done and these Saturdays are NOT long enough!  Daylight savings is helping a lot though... that 2-3 hours in the evenings will start to payoff BUT we have horses to work in that time as well so.... there you have it.

More to come as we wind this thing down and finish... thanks for following along with us on the journey!

Barn Build 101....102....coming along

March 14, 2016 


Thanks to some help from the community barn builders we are under roof and ready for metal siding!  This monster is looking good even after my "straighten up the walls" issue that only took about 2 hours to fix.  This thing is not perfect but it looks pretty darn good.  Thanks Jared Hammock and crew.... GREAT JOB fixing my mess... LOL!

I have gotten the inside posts in for the stalls and lots of the electrical boxes up... and we are formed up and ready for concrete this weekend IF the weather holds.  That is a huge IF this time of year.  The forecast is about as reliable as I am most days.  The good part is I am "in my realm" more now doing stalls, doors and electrical.  Matt Durham will help with the plumbing... okay he will DO the plumbing.... but I will do most of the electrical except for the line from the old barn.

We will call on a ditch witch expert to run a 40' from the old barn and run the water line.  We decided to extend another line to the pasture while we are at it to REALLY help us in the winter from rolling and draining hoses. The cost of the ditch will be -0- as he charges for a minimum amount anyway... and PVC is cheap so well worth it.

In the past three years we have added onto the original barn (30x32) and added 2 Lean to's on the sides as well (14x32), added a lean to on the shop (12x32) and built a pasture shed for the horses (12x48) and now the MONSTER 24x144 Horse Barn.  We also concreted the shop floor and ran 200 amp service to the barn.  We are trying to make this a very "friendly" usable place for us to enjoy for the next 20 years.  Thanks for following along!


Here are a few updated photos and as we keep going I will add a few more.

 Roof was on in about a half day.  The crew that came was organized and dang good at it.  They made it look square if it wasn't but said it was... who knows!

 Inside really looks large now that the roof is on.  Can't wait to ride in this hallway.

 Concrete area is graveled and settling... will be raking it and getting it leveled up by mid March to get this poured.

Stalls (4) on one end have posts set and most of the banding up waiting barn wood.  Good solid oak planks are ordered to go 4' up on the sides and front and 8' on the back and end walls.  We will also do a 8' plank wall down the hallway as well.  Thought about a 4' but decided 8'.  The near end will be used for hay storage (12 x 48) until we feel we need more stalls in this barn... we do have 9 stalls already in the old barn.

Learning ... the HARD way!

This barn has whipped me all over the place.... and I was determined to keep going but I did come to my senses yesterday and call in a builder to look at some things and help me out.  I am glad I did!  We did get the trusses up but as we put them on I felt that the walls were just too "wavy" looking down the sides. 

My suspicions were confirmed as the guy told me yesterday we need to "straighten up" the sidewalls before going further and explained how to do it.  It isn't awful, just wish I'd dug deeper on the HOW TO but the issue was everything I found was for a "small" pole barn... not a 144' long one! Lesson number one:  Pull string up high on the posts and LEAVE YOUR BRACES ON until after the trusses are in so you can keep the posts level and walls straight through the process... didn't do that.

Number two... Mark your trusses for LAD while they are bundled and strapped.  You can mark them ALL in about 5 minutes... that would have saved a TON of time on setting the lad on.

Number three... When you are over your head don't be prideful... LOL. I was NOT prideful as I called someone first thing Monday morning for help!  I can't afford to pay people to finish this thing but I am smart enough to pay for a couple of days labor to get help to make it right.  It is too big of an investment!

So... here is the latest photo and even though it looks pretty good there is some "adjusting" that this guy and his crew will do for me this week and I also decided die to time and safety that I going to hire them to do the lad, insulation and the roof for me.  Paying them for 2-3 days will be expensive ($2000 maybe) but I will be safe on the ground, the barn will be "straightened" up and everything will be ready for me to do on the ground.

I look forward to the "finishing" part and the siding.... but that roof... no.  Amy said she was glad I decided to bring someone in to get this part done as were my parents.  Yes, even at 52 my parents still worry about me.

Let's get this monster DONE!

Here is some of the barn progress....

 Above is the pad we had done.  The land rolls so we had to build the front up quite a bit.

The back 2 posts.... awful lonely back there....

 

 Getting more posts in as the weather broke a little.  January is always cold but its been REALLY wet.

 

 All lined up.... ready to add a few bands.

 Perspective from the old barn.... this thing is gonna be HUGE!

 So far my favorite shot.... evening clouds and sun on a beautiful Saturday evening.

 The top bands are on and trusses will be here on Tuesday 2/23.  I think I have three people coming to help so MAYBE we have photos of the top going up this next weekend!  We are VERY excited and of course have some pride in the D I Y of it all.  I can say that I have driven EVERY NAIL in this thing so far... EVERY!

 

Building a horse barn has been a life long dream for me.  Hope you enjoy the photos!

Yep... the barn is coming along but no photos today!

The barn is coming along.  The bands are on except for the top ones for the trusses but I hope to have them on this weekend.  I will get some new photos up soon. 

I am learning a lot this time around.  I am taking on the concrete, plumbing and electrical myself because I HAVE TO!  I just have a tight budget and contracting things out is not in that budget.  So... whether my work is up to par or not we shall see.  I will say that YOU TUBE is a great resource.  I have watched a lot of videos, taken a lot of notes and I think I can do ok with the work I haven't done before.  My Grandmother always said I could do about anything... and I ain't afraid to try!

It is going to be near 70 hear the next few days, a little windy, but beats last year at this time when we had a winter storm.  It was a year ago yesterday we buried Checotah Lue who was Amy's first horse.  She was 34.  Lue is still missed and she's buried right over from the new barn where she can keep watch!  I am sure she is running barrels and pain free!  Our other 8 are doing well and it wont be long to start riding hard to get ready for show season. 

Not much else to update from the farm!  Have a good week!

Bariatric Surgery

November 2006 was when I had WLS (weight loss surgery) and the next 6 months I lost over 120 pounds.  I've done pretty well with it overall but like 80% of those who had it I have gained about 20 pounds from my lowest weight and I decided last week to use these tools the doctor gave me and straighten up like a piece of wire!

I spent three days on liquids to "shrink the pouch" and let it tighten back up to close to the "golf ball" size it was.  Then I spent three days on very soft foods and limited foods.  The bonus was I now have to eat like I did 9 years ago (very small amounts) and I am retraining myself to not drink with my meal and not drink 30 minutes before or after a meal.  I do get some odd looks at restaurants when they ask what I want to drink and I say "nothing please". 

So I am on Day 10 now and I have lost about 9 pounds and so far I am not "struggling" with wanting to eat more other than about 3 in the afternoon I get hungry (or think I do) and I drink a protein drink and move on.  I don't expect to lose 5 pounds a week... maybe 2-3 each week and that is fine.  What I hope is to return to those disciplines I held the first 5 years after surgery and not snack, eat slider foods or carbs and do some exercise of some sort.

Gastric Bypass is a tool.  It is not a magic fix to keep you "normal" size.  You have to take the tool and use it properly or you will regain your weight.  I have enjoyed being "normal" and having normal clothes and just fitting in these past 9 years and I will be danged if I want to go back to being stared at or made fun of.  I hated being called "big guy" or "big man" because I was B-I-G... not famous!  Now I feel like I just fit into society and I have a strong determination to overcome. 

I have to take the tool given to me and use it properly so I can continue to shop in the Mens Department and buy things that most others buy.  I can fly on an airplane and not need a seatbelt extender.  I can walk between things and not wonder "will I fit through there?"  Being a more normal size is a health benefit for sure but just "fitting in" may be the biggest thrill of all.  I enjoyed the "Holy Moly" when people saw me that first year...but even though that is over I like the fact that I have stayed close to the same size all of this time and now, if I work at it, I can be just a tad smaller (and quicker LOL).

If you have fought obesity and tried it all, I would encourage you to look into the new options that surgery offers.  I chose the Gastric Bypass because I wanted something that was "permanent" in my mind.  The sleeve was "removable" and I did not want a way out.  Still... a tool is a tool and this has to be used the right way.  I know people who have had the surgery and later regained most all of that weight back.  It is sad but it WILL happen if you do not follow the plan.

All I can say is I worked VERY hard to get to a place I could have the surgery... a job change I didn't want to make but did because insurance covered it at the new job... then I had to suffer down and do the pre-surgery things to get it done... and it was not easy. I would do it again for the same result.  I haven't taken anything for heart, blood pressure or joint pain in 9 years.  I am able to go 9-0 most everyday.  I am not sick much at all.  I feel like I am 35 at 52.  I am thankful to God for the moves he allowed to happen to get me there! 

If you want to know about my doctor or more, email me.  I'm always happy to share about it.

See you at the farm or the horse shows!

Building the barn

You know just getting a 24x144 building SQUARE was not easy!  I think I had string all across the farm and used about 3000 feet of it trying to do this right!  Hopefully we did get it right and the posts are all in and part of the bands are on BUT the weather is really making this hard.  Tennessee... where you can have all four seasons in a week and that week being the last week of January.... 8 inches of snow one weekend and 65 degrees the next and now on February 10th is it in the single digits and snow on the ground again.  Friday is supposed to be 45 then back to below freezing for several days.

So hopefully I can get the top bands on as I ordered the trusses to come in late next week in hopes we are ready to set them on and then get the metal roof on.  My brother in law helped me set the first three posts but after that it has been all on me.  Every post and band... though my wife did help on the concrete pouring!  Without her I'd be lost.  Here are a few shots of where we are so far.... and thanks for checking on me!